In which Buffy dresses like a hooker at her new high school, Cunnydale.
After being in a shitty movie, though I did kind of like it, Buffy shows up in a new high school in a teeny tiny miniskirt and huge fuck-me boots for a brand new tv series on one of the wack ass little networks. She meets her usual cast of stock high school characters like the super bitchy Cordelia, the super nerdy Willow, the super dorky Jesse, and that faggot Xander. Buffy also has a totally bangable mom.
After super mad quippy dialog (um, “much” much?), Buffy eventually finds herself at some ridiculous high school band warehouse party ready to dispense a whole bitchload more quips. Also the creepy old British pederast,Rupert Giles, is there watching her because he is a “watcher”.
Oh wait, before that Buffy meets Angel, who looks like a Blade style good guy vampire but white so definitely a much bigger pussy than Blade.
Back at the outrageous band party, it looks like Willow is about to get date raped by a vampire so Buffy goes to save the day. The date rapist is vanquished but the hot blond vampire from the cold opening I didn’t mention shows up and turns into a rubber masked ugly blond vampire, who Buffy also beats up before a much bigger ugly dude vampire shows up to toss Buffy around like 90 pound teenaged white girl she is in real life (but not before even more god damn quippage).
Then the big vampire kills Bufffy and the show ends.
OR DOES IT?
After being in a shitty movie, though I did kind of like it, Buffy shows up in a new high school in a teeny tiny miniskirt and huge fuck-me boots for a brand new tv series on one of the wack ass little networks. She meets her usual cast of stock high school characters like the super bitchy Cordelia, the super nerdy Willow, the super dorky Jesse, and that faggot Xander. Buffy also has a totally bangable mom.
After super mad quippy dialog (um, “much” much?), Buffy eventually finds herself at some ridiculous high school band warehouse party ready to dispense a whole bitchload more quips. Also the creepy old British pederast,Rupert Giles, is there watching her because he is a “watcher”.
Oh wait, before that Buffy meets Angel, who looks like a Blade style good guy vampire but white so definitely a much bigger pussy than Blade.
Back at the outrageous band party, it looks like Willow is about to get date raped by a vampire so Buffy goes to save the day. The date rapist is vanquished but the hot blond vampire from the cold opening I didn’t mention shows up and turns into a rubber masked ugly blond vampire, who Buffy also beats up before a much bigger ugly dude vampire shows up to toss Buffy around like 90 pound teenaged white girl she is in real life (but not before even more god damn quippage).
Then the big vampire kills Bufffy and the show ends.
OR DOES IT?
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