In which Xander is forced to once again pump himself off.
You know how I said the opening theme song to Buffy was shit? Well it is, but I’ve been hearing it so often that the god damn thing is stuck in my head all the fucking time. STUPID FUCKING NERD HERDERS! YOUR SCRUFFINESS IS ONLY MATCHED BY YOUR RETARDEDNESS, YOU PIMPLY ASS FACED FART BRAINS. At least I only have to hear it once every 45 minutes at most. Unlike the Aqua Teen Hunger Force theme song, which, though awesome and contains 100% more School D, gets annoying when played every 12 minutes while watching the ATHF DVDs.
The other good news is that barf breathed nose picker Oz also has a shit band with an amusing name that gets old fast, Dingoes Ate My Baby. I HOPE YOU FUCKER DIE. EAT SHIT AND SUFFOCATE ON FARTS. SUFFOCATE ON FARTS TO DEATH.
And Cordelia dumps Xander because her cool friends were making fun off her for dating a nerd, and on Valentine’s Day, too. Good, that’s how shit works in high school. People want to date the popular kids because popularity is the only fucking thing that matters. No one just happens to fall in love with someone of a lower social stratosphere. It’s all about getting ahead and making more friends then the next guy and all the rest of the lyrics from that Nada Surf song. Least that’s the way I remember things, during the bouts of sobriety in between meth binges, I mean.
So what does a wounded Xander do when the woman of his dreams (Wait, I thought that was supposed to be Buffy?) scorns him for the cool clique? Cast a love spell that goes horribly awry, of course. It sends all the double X chromosomes in Sumatradale screaming after Xander’s nuts, making for a very comprising situation replete with wacky hijinx. But Xander doesn’t take advantage of any of these enscorselled sluts, oh no. That would be a moral failing on Xander’s part and imply that he’s less then perfect, and this isn’t the type of show that allows for character flaws. That would make them interesting, and Buffy is strictly a show for boring ass fucktards.
This episode sucked, and gets extra demerits for the Dingoes Sucked My Baby Straight to Hell performance. D MINUS.
You know how I said the opening theme song to Buffy was shit? Well it is, but I’ve been hearing it so often that the god damn thing is stuck in my head all the fucking time. STUPID FUCKING NERD HERDERS! YOUR SCRUFFINESS IS ONLY MATCHED BY YOUR RETARDEDNESS, YOU PIMPLY ASS FACED FART BRAINS. At least I only have to hear it once every 45 minutes at most. Unlike the Aqua Teen Hunger Force theme song, which, though awesome and contains 100% more School D, gets annoying when played every 12 minutes while watching the ATHF DVDs.
The other good news is that barf breathed nose picker Oz also has a shit band with an amusing name that gets old fast, Dingoes Ate My Baby. I HOPE YOU FUCKER DIE. EAT SHIT AND SUFFOCATE ON FARTS. SUFFOCATE ON FARTS TO DEATH.
And Cordelia dumps Xander because her cool friends were making fun off her for dating a nerd, and on Valentine’s Day, too. Good, that’s how shit works in high school. People want to date the popular kids because popularity is the only fucking thing that matters. No one just happens to fall in love with someone of a lower social stratosphere. It’s all about getting ahead and making more friends then the next guy and all the rest of the lyrics from that Nada Surf song. Least that’s the way I remember things, during the bouts of sobriety in between meth binges, I mean.
So what does a wounded Xander do when the woman of his dreams (Wait, I thought that was supposed to be Buffy?) scorns him for the cool clique? Cast a love spell that goes horribly awry, of course. It sends all the double X chromosomes in Sumatradale screaming after Xander’s nuts, making for a very comprising situation replete with wacky hijinx. But Xander doesn’t take advantage of any of these enscorselled sluts, oh no. That would be a moral failing on Xander’s part and imply that he’s less then perfect, and this isn’t the type of show that allows for character flaws. That would make them interesting, and Buffy is strictly a show for boring ass fucktards.
This episode sucked, and gets extra demerits for the Dingoes Sucked My Baby Straight to Hell performance. D MINUS.
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