In which some limey British fru-fru man wants to take a vampire bite out off some tea and crumpets and Buffy’s slayer ass.
I’m going to go out on a limb and hazard a guess that, sight unseen, this episode of Bufffy involves some kind of literally magical plot device that turns one or more Sunnydalle students into extremely stupid cavemen and women, based solely on the title, “School Hard”. I’m actually really pumped for a caveman MOTW. The Geico commercials have taken some off the shine of the genre but old school retard cro-magnon men are some of my favorite characters (after Frankensteins, of course).
So far the cold opening only reveals a British vampire. Well good to know the eyeties don’t have a monopoly on fruity speaking euro-vamps. Later we find out it’s Spike, a bleach blond braggadocio with a female Mary Poppins on Lithium sounding ensorcelled concubine. And what’s that, Spike has already killed TWO slayers in the last hundred year. Oh boy I can’t wait.
I’m also positive that one of these new vampires also plays Mac’s dad on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. What a great show that is.
In a stunning turn off events, Willow reveals that there’s a “really rank bar” in It’s Always Sunnydale called “The Fishtank” that gets busted a lot? Ok now that’s just plain silly.
Also I’m getting a little tired of all the historical event name dropping to make it sounds like the history off Slayers and Vampires and shit have been going on forever. So Spike says he was there during the Boxer Rebellion. Well, good for you, you fuckin bitch. Oh, look at me, super old vampire just happens to find him self in the midst of historical events commonly taught in 9th grade history class. What an amazing coincidence. When else did you just “happen” to be around, hmm? Hey, is that Spike, at the signing of the Edict of Nantes, ready to pounce on a bunch of unsuspecting Huguenots who have recently gained nominal freedom of worship by the French King Henry IV? Well, that’s just swell for you mr fancy pants. Suck a dick.
So anyway, my smart alec hypothesis couldn’t be more wrong. No cavemen whatsoever (boo), instead, just a new limey vampire named Spike (woof!) who was trained centuries ago by Angelo, the pussy vampire with a soul, before he turned good. And instead of a 5 minute awkward fight when Bufffy vanquishes the rubber suited MOTW, we got about 20 minutes of a royal rumble in the high school with the bad guy escaping to fight another day. Further intrigue abounds in the final scene where Spike asserts his authority in Club Vampire but stuffing evil nerdy Anointed One kid into a cage and hoisting him into the air on a chain (so why was that cage on a chain just sitting around unused again?)
Anywho, Buffy continues to improve each week and here I am again, being told to eat my words, except in this case the words are on a computer screen and there’s no way I’m eating my fucking computer. What do you think these things grow on trees? Get serious for once, geez.
I’m going to go out on a limb and hazard a guess that, sight unseen, this episode of Bufffy involves some kind of literally magical plot device that turns one or more Sunnydalle students into extremely stupid cavemen and women, based solely on the title, “School Hard”. I’m actually really pumped for a caveman MOTW. The Geico commercials have taken some off the shine of the genre but old school retard cro-magnon men are some of my favorite characters (after Frankensteins, of course).
So far the cold opening only reveals a British vampire. Well good to know the eyeties don’t have a monopoly on fruity speaking euro-vamps. Later we find out it’s Spike, a bleach blond braggadocio with a female Mary Poppins on Lithium sounding ensorcelled concubine. And what’s that, Spike has already killed TWO slayers in the last hundred year. Oh boy I can’t wait.
I’m also positive that one of these new vampires also plays Mac’s dad on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. What a great show that is.
In a stunning turn off events, Willow reveals that there’s a “really rank bar” in It’s Always Sunnydale called “The Fishtank” that gets busted a lot? Ok now that’s just plain silly.
Also I’m getting a little tired of all the historical event name dropping to make it sounds like the history off Slayers and Vampires and shit have been going on forever. So Spike says he was there during the Boxer Rebellion. Well, good for you, you fuckin bitch. Oh, look at me, super old vampire just happens to find him self in the midst of historical events commonly taught in 9th grade history class. What an amazing coincidence. When else did you just “happen” to be around, hmm? Hey, is that Spike, at the signing of the Edict of Nantes, ready to pounce on a bunch of unsuspecting Huguenots who have recently gained nominal freedom of worship by the French King Henry IV? Well, that’s just swell for you mr fancy pants. Suck a dick.
So anyway, my smart alec hypothesis couldn’t be more wrong. No cavemen whatsoever (boo), instead, just a new limey vampire named Spike (woof!) who was trained centuries ago by Angelo, the pussy vampire with a soul, before he turned good. And instead of a 5 minute awkward fight when Bufffy vanquishes the rubber suited MOTW, we got about 20 minutes of a royal rumble in the high school with the bad guy escaping to fight another day. Further intrigue abounds in the final scene where Spike asserts his authority in Club Vampire but stuffing evil nerdy Anointed One kid into a cage and hoisting him into the air on a chain (so why was that cage on a chain just sitting around unused again?)
Anywho, Buffy continues to improve each week and here I am again, being told to eat my words, except in this case the words are on a computer screen and there’s no way I’m eating my fucking computer. What do you think these things grow on trees? Get serious for once, geez.
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