In which Buffy just finishes sending her ex-boyfriend straight to hell and her mom is already hanging evil Nigerian death masks on her bedroom wall; what the hell are you doing, Mom, you fucking cunt!
We’ve been following Buffy and the teen dork detective squad for a while now, so I was thinking of taking inventory of the epithets we’ve established, using my favorite Homeric example, circumspect Penelope, as inspiration. Let’s see, we got: Hot piece of ass Buffy, Pedophile Giles, Buffy’s bonable mom, dork ass Willow, dildo Oz, super bitch Cordelia, British asshole vampire Spike, pale faced pussy vampire Angelo, Mary Poppins the vampire, sexy dead comp sci teacher whatsherface, principal Synder, and faggot Xander. Ok fine, we can use butt cake or big pud Xander instead. See? I’m not unreasonable.
We’ve been following Buffy and the teen dork detective squad for a while now, so I was thinking of taking inventory of the epithets we’ve established, using my favorite Homeric example, circumspect Penelope, as inspiration. Let’s see, we got: Hot piece of ass Buffy, Pedophile Giles, Buffy’s bonable mom, dork ass Willow, dildo Oz, super bitch Cordelia, British asshole vampire Spike, pale faced pussy vampire Angelo, Mary Poppins the vampire, sexy dead comp sci teacher whatsherface, principal Synder, and faggot Xander. Ok fine, we can use butt cake or big pud Xander instead. See? I’m not unreasonable.
Incidental pud point of personification: Xander nicknames himself “Night Hawk”. I rest my case (Night Hog would have been better).
This was a real dud of an episode. And I mean it stank. The gang throw Buffy a “party” to celebrate her return but it gets ruined by the evil Nigerian death mask that Buffy’s mom hung up in the house and because the “party” is total bullshit. Strike 1: there is a band playing the living room of a house. This does not ever happen. Plus the band is fucking terrible. More of Seth Green’s band’s aural diarrhea. Strike 2: there are heaps of chips and soda but no one playing drinking games and getting annihilated. No one over the age of 14 would stay at this chode knob bonanza. Stike 3: everyone PMSes all over Buffy for some lame reason or another and it’s really annoying. SHUT UP TURDS.
Oh yeah and the evil mask causes a dick load of zombies to attack. How do you manage to make a zombie attack boring as hell, you ask? Beats me, I would think it’d be impossible. But they seem to manage no problem in this episode.
Anyway, Buffy stabs some old lady in the face with a shovel (for real) and the episode ends. BOOOOOOO. Has season 5 of the Shield finished downloading yet? God damn it FiOS! You said I’d get blazing connection speeds, the fasted fiber optic technology allows. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS HORSESHIT YOU ASSHOLES?
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