In which Buffy goes into the woods, which if this were Vietnam would be called the bad bush but Joker, who has never been in the shit, would think that it’s between old mama-san’s legs and HEY! we just did that one!
I know I take regular shits (now more regular since I switched to decaf) on this show and a lot of it is stupid, but for the most part I enjoy watching it. Enough at least to see this nonsense through to the end. However, this episode really was one of the worst things I have ever seen.
I try to keep my judgements of this show in perspective. It started over ten years ago on a shitty network getting shitty ratings with a target audience skewing decidedly young and with double the number of X chromosomes. And even though I make fun of the rubber suited monsters of the week and the hacky jokes and awful soundtrack (must not digress into bitchy tangent), I know that the show was operating on a different budget and production values than say, the Sopranos, to pick a contemporary.
BUT NONETHELESS, this episode really was a fucking piece of shit. I guess I could isolate my grievances to just the plot, but that would also be like saying a meal you just ate was allright except for the taste. Most of the storyline revolves around the need to write that Riley dude out of the show. I have no idea why they’re doing it, but I read on wikipedia that fans hated him. But they loved Xander and Spike probably, but who gives a shit about that (I looked it up in case I may have missed something, like it being a some big inside joke that I missed, or if the WB was having all thier shows imitate horrendous telenovelas or something).
I don’t want to exhaust myself rehashing the stupid, contrived, insulting plot points, but to try and summarize: Buffy is still letting Riley tag that ass, though not appreciating him enough, so he goes to a Vampire whorehouse and let’s a vampire suck some of his blood. Spike, who is now in love with Buffy, brings her to see it. Buffs and Riles then have a big fight and so Riley gives her an ultimatum, saying either allow him to fuck her AND care more about his feelings, or he’s rejoining the army that brainwashed and nearly killed him because they just so happen to have stopped by recently and asked him if he wanted to reenlist. Buffy was about to write the chode completely off when pud faced Xander convinces her to sprint after him and take him back, but Buffy arrives at the army helicopter take off pad just as Riley is pulling away, even though he never told Buffy where and when he was specifically leaving.
This vampire whore house is probably the most abominable plot contrivance I have ever been witness too. It makes zero sense. I’d explain how the writers try to shoe horn it in to the show and why they fail miserably at doing so, but thinking about it makes my head hurt. That and the entire script was written from a perspective of high school teenager’s Buffy fan fiction. And you know, maybe that’s exactly what they were going for and it really was secretly brilliant. I mean, shit, if it rallied the core audience and fed them the exact bullshit they were going for, shrewed move by the producers.
What it really reminded me though, was of the scene from Misery, when Kathy Bates lectures James Caan that the next book he produced was convalescing as her hostage would not do, so he’d have to start over and do it again. And what he submits next is a load of drivel that nonetheless makes his insane captor giddy with content. So what I’m saying is I fully expect Buffy fans to literally bash Joss Whedon’s feet in with a motherfucking sledgehammer if he ever tried to cancel the show in the middle of season.
I really liked that book too. It was one of the first Stephen King books I ever read it it blew my 7th grade mind. Especially when the dude has to drink his own pee. Now the concept is blase, what with Bear Grylls and Jackass and having done it myself many many times in college and all, but back then it was a truly horrifying concept to me.
The big news though is that this episode is officially and without a doubt THE WORST EPISODE OF THIS ENTIRE GOD DAMN SERIES. Lets all give it a grand round of applause.
I know I take regular shits (now more regular since I switched to decaf) on this show and a lot of it is stupid, but for the most part I enjoy watching it. Enough at least to see this nonsense through to the end. However, this episode really was one of the worst things I have ever seen.
I try to keep my judgements of this show in perspective. It started over ten years ago on a shitty network getting shitty ratings with a target audience skewing decidedly young and with double the number of X chromosomes. And even though I make fun of the rubber suited monsters of the week and the hacky jokes and awful soundtrack (must not digress into bitchy tangent), I know that the show was operating on a different budget and production values than say, the Sopranos, to pick a contemporary.
BUT NONETHELESS, this episode really was a fucking piece of shit. I guess I could isolate my grievances to just the plot, but that would also be like saying a meal you just ate was allright except for the taste. Most of the storyline revolves around the need to write that Riley dude out of the show. I have no idea why they’re doing it, but I read on wikipedia that fans hated him. But they loved Xander and Spike probably, but who gives a shit about that (I looked it up in case I may have missed something, like it being a some big inside joke that I missed, or if the WB was having all thier shows imitate horrendous telenovelas or something).
I don’t want to exhaust myself rehashing the stupid, contrived, insulting plot points, but to try and summarize: Buffy is still letting Riley tag that ass, though not appreciating him enough, so he goes to a Vampire whorehouse and let’s a vampire suck some of his blood. Spike, who is now in love with Buffy, brings her to see it. Buffs and Riles then have a big fight and so Riley gives her an ultimatum, saying either allow him to fuck her AND care more about his feelings, or he’s rejoining the army that brainwashed and nearly killed him because they just so happen to have stopped by recently and asked him if he wanted to reenlist. Buffy was about to write the chode completely off when pud faced Xander convinces her to sprint after him and take him back, but Buffy arrives at the army helicopter take off pad just as Riley is pulling away, even though he never told Buffy where and when he was specifically leaving.
This vampire whore house is probably the most abominable plot contrivance I have ever been witness too. It makes zero sense. I’d explain how the writers try to shoe horn it in to the show and why they fail miserably at doing so, but thinking about it makes my head hurt. That and the entire script was written from a perspective of high school teenager’s Buffy fan fiction. And you know, maybe that’s exactly what they were going for and it really was secretly brilliant. I mean, shit, if it rallied the core audience and fed them the exact bullshit they were going for, shrewed move by the producers.
What it really reminded me though, was of the scene from Misery, when Kathy Bates lectures James Caan that the next book he produced was convalescing as her hostage would not do, so he’d have to start over and do it again. And what he submits next is a load of drivel that nonetheless makes his insane captor giddy with content. So what I’m saying is I fully expect Buffy fans to literally bash Joss Whedon’s feet in with a motherfucking sledgehammer if he ever tried to cancel the show in the middle of season.
I really liked that book too. It was one of the first Stephen King books I ever read it it blew my 7th grade mind. Especially when the dude has to drink his own pee. Now the concept is blase, what with Bear Grylls and Jackass and having done it myself many many times in college and all, but back then it was a truly horrifying concept to me.
The big news though is that this episode is officially and without a doubt THE WORST EPISODE OF THIS ENTIRE GOD DAMN SERIES. Lets all give it a grand round of applause.
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