In which Buffy’s mom’s brain is filled with an unstoppable rebel force called cancer, probably put there by god as punishment for her unholy period blood.
Buffy’s mom is dying of cancer. Maybe. So they bring in the 12 year old and kill the milf? Well if teenage girls are your network’s target audience, I can understand the move, not that it makes it any less a stupefyingly terrible one. I mean the idea that you can create a human being out of thin aether and inject them into a family by magically altering their memories and it’s not totally fucked on every possible moral and ethical level? That’s totally fucked. But whatever, at least when Whedon made Dollhouse he went balls out on wack shit like that. Which reminds me that I need to watch that second season sometime soon.
Spike stole Buffy’s panties. Because once you develop a crush on someone that’s the next logical thing to do. That’s what everyone does when they have crushes. Memorize their class schedule, look up the style of sneakers they wear in the Eastbay catalog, scribble their initials in your notebook, and steal their skid marked underwear. Duh.
Here’s the problem with having a ‘real world’ medical problem in which a doctor gives your mom an almost one in three shot at survival in a show like Buffy: JUST MAGIC THAT CANCER OUT OF THERE AND GET ON WITH THE SHOW YOU DUMB BITCH. So stop it with your whining or I will go Kindergarten Cop on you. Oh but Pedophile Giles and the teen dork platoon festooned in gloom tell Bufffy that you can’t magic cancer out of human brains. Well isn’t that convenient. On the contrary, since Buffy’s mom is innocent of this crime, I’d assume she finds it decidedly INconvenient.
The crazy blonde evil babe created a snake man thing (no bear or pig, however), that looks an awful lot like the mutated Cobra Commander after he was exposed to the nasty spore plant thing in the G.I. Joe movie. Holy shit that was an awesome move. Sargent Slaughter is a king of men. Anyone who disagrees will be leaving here in a ditty bag. AN ITTY, BITTY, DITTY BAG.
Then Buffy tries to choke to death the innocent snake man created from magic and thrust without consultation into a life he didn’t create, just like Buffy’s fake sister, with a chain, in a scene reminiscent of Leia’s snuffing of the Hutt on his ill-fated pleasure skiff. When she fails to immediately kill the persecuted, differently enchanted snake person, she beats the poor bastard to death with her fists. Savage.
And Rileydawg is some sort of depressed slit who lost his testicles, or something. MORE JUSTIFIED PLEASE.
Buffy’s mom is dying of cancer. Maybe. So they bring in the 12 year old and kill the milf? Well if teenage girls are your network’s target audience, I can understand the move, not that it makes it any less a stupefyingly terrible one. I mean the idea that you can create a human being out of thin aether and inject them into a family by magically altering their memories and it’s not totally fucked on every possible moral and ethical level? That’s totally fucked. But whatever, at least when Whedon made Dollhouse he went balls out on wack shit like that. Which reminds me that I need to watch that second season sometime soon.
Spike stole Buffy’s panties. Because once you develop a crush on someone that’s the next logical thing to do. That’s what everyone does when they have crushes. Memorize their class schedule, look up the style of sneakers they wear in the Eastbay catalog, scribble their initials in your notebook, and steal their skid marked underwear. Duh.
Here’s the problem with having a ‘real world’ medical problem in which a doctor gives your mom an almost one in three shot at survival in a show like Buffy: JUST MAGIC THAT CANCER OUT OF THERE AND GET ON WITH THE SHOW YOU DUMB BITCH. So stop it with your whining or I will go Kindergarten Cop on you. Oh but Pedophile Giles and the teen dork platoon festooned in gloom tell Bufffy that you can’t magic cancer out of human brains. Well isn’t that convenient. On the contrary, since Buffy’s mom is innocent of this crime, I’d assume she finds it decidedly INconvenient.
The crazy blonde evil babe created a snake man thing (no bear or pig, however), that looks an awful lot like the mutated Cobra Commander after he was exposed to the nasty spore plant thing in the G.I. Joe movie. Holy shit that was an awesome move. Sargent Slaughter is a king of men. Anyone who disagrees will be leaving here in a ditty bag. AN ITTY, BITTY, DITTY BAG.
Then Buffy tries to choke to death the innocent snake man created from magic and thrust without consultation into a life he didn’t create, just like Buffy’s fake sister, with a chain, in a scene reminiscent of Leia’s snuffing of the Hutt on his ill-fated pleasure skiff. When she fails to immediately kill the persecuted, differently enchanted snake person, she beats the poor bastard to death with her fists. Savage.
And Rileydawg is some sort of depressed slit who lost his testicles, or something. MORE JUSTIFIED PLEASE.
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