In which Willow and her evil cult of ghastly ginger goth sluts decide to assassinate some children because all gingers and goths are sub human slime who are born with no souls.
Two little kids are found murdered in a playground and Mr. Sanderson from the bank has been turned into a vampire. And that’s just in the first 2 minutes. Dude, Buffy totally sucks at her job.
Instead of being all secretive and sneaking off to kill vampires all by herself and trying to keep Sumterdale safe BUT FAILING MISERABLY, maybe Buffy should fucking alert the authorities about the Hellmouth who can send the army out to help train the town during the day to hold crosses up and stab stakes into vampire chests. It’s not that fucking hard. I do that shit all the time. Eat my shit you vampire bitches. Heyaaah!
Wow, look at that, Buffy’s mom just suggested that adults start getting involved to help stop the monsters from killing the dick out of everyone. I always knew she was one of the good ones.
Then she turns into a raging cunt fart and starts a literal and figurative witch hunt, getting Willow and all the other loser wiccan dorks in trouble. I bet she’s one of those PTA bitches who fights to keep Huck Finn from being taught in schools because of it’s liberal use of the n word. What a dyke.
What the frig, as soon as I typed that Buffy made a joke about the boy who stuck his finger in the dyke. Actually a decent joke too. She implies that she thought the story was about a little Dutch boy used to stick his hand up some lesbians twat. Haw.
Ah, finally we learn why this episode is called gingerbread, it refers to the house where Hansel and Gretel died. Those two dead kids from before are actually Hansel and Gretel’s ghosts who show up every 50 years and fuck with people. Then they mention how fairy tales are real and witches and blah blah blah. The problem I have with that is that the real origin of fairy tales are far more terrible than some bullshit about magic and demons and shit. In this case, back in the day, like 1600s or so, pre-renaissance Mittel Europe was often devastated by famine, wars and plagues, leaving rural woodsfolk unable to provide enough food for their families. So faced with the choice of starving themselves or starving their kids, parents would lead their famished wiener chilluns out into the forest for one last meal of bread crumbs before abandoning them to the elements and surely a slow, painful, horrifying death. The idea being that if the parents die, so will the kids anyway, so better to mercy kill the brood now and hope to have more offspring when fatter harvests return.
See? Way more fucked up. The life of man is nasty, brutish and short, indeed.
Ahem, oh right, the fucking tv show. Um, so, it looks bad for Team Buff when a rubber suited monster appears but then Buffy fucking stabs his head off. And some girl from high school is now a mouse.
Thats how it ends, for real. You fucking happy now?
Two little kids are found murdered in a playground and Mr. Sanderson from the bank has been turned into a vampire. And that’s just in the first 2 minutes. Dude, Buffy totally sucks at her job.
Instead of being all secretive and sneaking off to kill vampires all by herself and trying to keep Sumterdale safe BUT FAILING MISERABLY, maybe Buffy should fucking alert the authorities about the Hellmouth who can send the army out to help train the town during the day to hold crosses up and stab stakes into vampire chests. It’s not that fucking hard. I do that shit all the time. Eat my shit you vampire bitches. Heyaaah!
Wow, look at that, Buffy’s mom just suggested that adults start getting involved to help stop the monsters from killing the dick out of everyone. I always knew she was one of the good ones.
Then she turns into a raging cunt fart and starts a literal and figurative witch hunt, getting Willow and all the other loser wiccan dorks in trouble. I bet she’s one of those PTA bitches who fights to keep Huck Finn from being taught in schools because of it’s liberal use of the n word. What a dyke.
What the frig, as soon as I typed that Buffy made a joke about the boy who stuck his finger in the dyke. Actually a decent joke too. She implies that she thought the story was about a little Dutch boy used to stick his hand up some lesbians twat. Haw.
Ah, finally we learn why this episode is called gingerbread, it refers to the house where Hansel and Gretel died. Those two dead kids from before are actually Hansel and Gretel’s ghosts who show up every 50 years and fuck with people. Then they mention how fairy tales are real and witches and blah blah blah. The problem I have with that is that the real origin of fairy tales are far more terrible than some bullshit about magic and demons and shit. In this case, back in the day, like 1600s or so, pre-renaissance Mittel Europe was often devastated by famine, wars and plagues, leaving rural woodsfolk unable to provide enough food for their families. So faced with the choice of starving themselves or starving their kids, parents would lead their famished wiener chilluns out into the forest for one last meal of bread crumbs before abandoning them to the elements and surely a slow, painful, horrifying death. The idea being that if the parents die, so will the kids anyway, so better to mercy kill the brood now and hope to have more offspring when fatter harvests return.
See? Way more fucked up. The life of man is nasty, brutish and short, indeed.
Ahem, oh right, the fucking tv show. Um, so, it looks bad for Team Buff when a rubber suited monster appears but then Buffy fucking stabs his head off. And some girl from high school is now a mouse.
Thats how it ends, for real. You fucking happy now?
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