In which Buffy and the teen dork detective squad go to Homecoming and who would have thought that deadly vampiric hijinks would ensue besides Happy Scrappy Hero Pup, of course.
After I settled on the Homecoming in Socks title I really just wanted to quote Randal’s amazing video order to the distribution house but I decided it would be too lazy even for my pathetic, non existent standards.
You know what else is pathetic? This was the last time I would be in my twenties for New Year’s Eve. I didn’t want to get all pissy about it like some mopey little emo bitch but god damned if I didn’t anyway. So you know what I did? I looked up a bunch of the actors from Buffy the Vampire Snuffer and it turns out all those jerks are even older than me. Some by a shit load. Especially that Pedophile Giles. So suck it, geezers. Man does that feel good. There’s nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others.
Meanwhile, the shennanigan meter is about to wack it’s way through the fucking roof, because Cordelia and Buffy are BOTH running for homecoming queen. Yes, I know, I could hardly believe it myself. AND XANDER AND WILLOW ARE MAKING OUT. Shut up, I know, right?
But it’s all just a ruse. That’s right, a cunning attempt to trick Buffy by the Mayor, who’s really an Asian drum major hellbent on killing slayers in something he calls Ozzfest ‘98, which I was at in Homdel, NJ at the PNC Bank Arts Center and Tool and Megadeth opened for Ozzy and Snot, Incubus and System of a Down played the second stage and I saw a lot of fat dudes with beards wearing wifebeaters and jorts and I’m not ashamed to say it was the best god damn day of my whole fucking life.
I guess the evil mayor and the sundry comic book bounty hunters he rounded up to kill Buffy was supposed to be an intriguing plot twist but It’s tough to even pretend to care anymore. In other news, Eliza Dukshu still looks hot, like Rick Derris hot. Whatever, just try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot.
After I settled on the Homecoming in Socks title I really just wanted to quote Randal’s amazing video order to the distribution house but I decided it would be too lazy even for my pathetic, non existent standards.
You know what else is pathetic? This was the last time I would be in my twenties for New Year’s Eve. I didn’t want to get all pissy about it like some mopey little emo bitch but god damned if I didn’t anyway. So you know what I did? I looked up a bunch of the actors from Buffy the Vampire Snuffer and it turns out all those jerks are even older than me. Some by a shit load. Especially that Pedophile Giles. So suck it, geezers. Man does that feel good. There’s nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others.
Meanwhile, the shennanigan meter is about to wack it’s way through the fucking roof, because Cordelia and Buffy are BOTH running for homecoming queen. Yes, I know, I could hardly believe it myself. AND XANDER AND WILLOW ARE MAKING OUT. Shut up, I know, right?
But it’s all just a ruse. That’s right, a cunning attempt to trick Buffy by the Mayor, who’s really an Asian drum major hellbent on killing slayers in something he calls Ozzfest ‘98, which I was at in Homdel, NJ at the PNC Bank Arts Center and Tool and Megadeth opened for Ozzy and Snot, Incubus and System of a Down played the second stage and I saw a lot of fat dudes with beards wearing wifebeaters and jorts and I’m not ashamed to say it was the best god damn day of my whole fucking life.
I guess the evil mayor and the sundry comic book bounty hunters he rounded up to kill Buffy was supposed to be an intriguing plot twist but It’s tough to even pretend to care anymore. In other news, Eliza Dukshu still looks hot, like Rick Derris hot. Whatever, just try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot.
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